A Regret That I Will Never Take Back
by MyLittleLlama
Summary: A story of Dan and Phil. Phan. Dan hears Phil crying every night. What happens when Dan goes to talk to Phil? Do they finally tell each other the truth? (Will Be continued)
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, First fanfic, Enjooy. **

**ps. sorry it's so short.**

Dan's POV.

I can hear him. Sobbing quietly in his room. Every Night. it tears me apart inside but I don't know how to help him. I need to talk to him but I don't know what to say. Tonight's the night.

I walked to his door and knocked...

"Go Away!"

"No Phil , I want to talk to you. Please let me in."

Silence. Rattling. Draw's opening and Closing. More rattling and then he opens the door.

"What?"

You could tell he had been crying. His face was all red. His eyes looked sore and he looked so broken.

He sat on his bed as I followed.

"Well, Is there anything you want to talk about ? Phil?...You can tell me anything."

"Not everything."

"Of course you can," I said as I looked into those beautiful blue eyes.

I got so lost for a second that I didn't even realise Phil had started to cry.

"Phil?"

I grabbed his hand. He looked up. I was about to do something I would regret. Phil doesn't feel the same way I do, I love him. So much that I kissed him with all I had.

"I don't know if you feel the same way but ... I love you Phillip Lester."

He Smiled.

"Do you know how long I've waited for that?" He said.

"I'm guessing ...A while?" I said.

He laughed. For the first time in ages...

**Hope you enjoyed guys. Will be continued soon.**

**Please review :3**


	2. Chapter 2

**WARNING: could be triggering.**

**Phil POV**

Those 5 words meant everything to me. I can't believe after all this time, After all these scars , After all the sleeping pills I've had to take, Dan loves me back.

"I love you , Daniel..."

His warm eyes were filled with love and love only. I had to tell him. He doesn't deserve to be lied to.

"...But there's something I should probably show you."

"What?" He looked concerned.

I rolled up my sleeves to reveal everything , the scars , the cuts , the burns...everything.

He looked shocked and confused but his eyes were still filled with love.

"Why?" He said. Hurt stained within his voice.

"I hated myself. I felt like a freak;loving my own best friend. I never thought you'd love me back."

"Well I do. I love you so much. I love your smile , your icy blue eyes , your laugh , your innocent personality, you're beautful Phillip Lester and I don't know where I'd be without you. Can you promise me something though?"

He sounded serious.

"Anything for you."

"Can you promise to never take another sharp object to your skin again?"

"Promise."

It was going to be hard but it was worth it. If I had Dan.

**Dan's POV.**

**~ A few weeks later ~**

I was so happy. I finally had Phil...But something else was wrong.

I felt so fat and ugly compared to Phil. He's so beautiful. I haven't really eaten for the past week. Phil doesn't really notice. When I do have to eat, I sneak to the bathroom;making sure that phil doesn't notice.

It felt wrong but so right at the same time. Phil was getting better and I was getting worse. I'm glad Phil is better though. I love him too much for him to be hurt. that's why he can't know that I'm not eating. He'll freak if he finds out.

**~A few months later~**

Me and Phil were getting closer and closer everyday...If that were even possible?..Tonight just so happened to be the night.

We were doing the usual , Playing video games and Laughing.

We looked into each others eyes and the next thing I knew we were fully clothed , on-top of each other. In Phil's bed. We kissed slowly and lovingly , I felt Phil's tongue aking for entrance and I let him in and he explored my mouth.

He reached for the bottom of my jumper and pulled it off. I just hoped he didn't notice how scrawny I had become. I suddenly felt uncomfortable. I sprung up and ran to my room.

**Phil's POV.**

Dan felt scrawnier than he did a few months ago. I tried not to take much notice until he ran out. Something was wrong.

I walked to Dan's door. It was locked.

Silly Dan.

I know how to pick a lock.

When I got in , I went over to the litte Dan shaped lump that had been made under his duvet.

"Dan?"

"Please, Just go."

"But Dan...I just want to know what's wrong?"

"Nothing , I just felt..."

Pause.

"..uncomfortable."

"Dan , There's no need to be uncomfortable. I love you for who you are."

"But, I-I thought.."

"What?"

"O-Oh nothing."

**Dan's POV.**

Obviously Phil hadn't noticed. Thank god.

"So...Do you want to pick up where we left off?"Phil asked , So sweetly.

I grabbed on to Phils face and his lips met mine. Phil was leaning over me ,I had my legs wrapped around is torso. I started to unbutton Phil's checkered shirt as Phil unbuttoned my tight jeans and pulled them off leaving me in my boxers. I then moved onto undoing Phil's black, skin tight jeans...

...

**Phil's POV.**

I was worried about Dan. He felt so scrawny..But I've seen him eat with my own eyes. He can't be-

No , never. He wouldn't.

I turned over to see Dan fast asleep. It was around 8am. I was always first to wake up. I cautiously got out of bed trying not wake Dan. I decided to make Dan breakfast. I know this sounds terrible but I just want to see if he is-.

I got out the ingredients to make Delia Smith pancakes , Mine and Dan's favourite pancakes of all time.

I finished the pancakes and then heard Dan starting to get out of bed. He sleepily walked into the kitchen.

"Morning Beautiful," I said as I put a plate of pancakes in front of him.

"Oh M-Morning.." He said becoming more aware of his surroundings.

"I made you pancakes. Not just any pancakes , they're FREAKING DELIA SMITH PANCAKES."

"Thanks Phil , But you really didn't have to."

"Yes I did. Because I love you."

"I love you too."

**Dan's POV.**

I ate every pancake that was put in front of me. I didn't want to draw suspision ...Especially after last night.

"Thanks , Phil."

"No problem , Dear."

"I might go get dressed and head down town."

"I wanna come."

"No No! You can't. I want to get you something. I want it to be a suprise."

I was really going out to find a public toilet or something. I can't do it here. I think Phil is getting suspicious.

"Oh Please, I promise I wont look at what you're getting. I really just want to get out , Get some fresh air.

"Okay, I guess."

~an hour later~

We were in town , Phil also made me have lunch. I had to find a toilet. Fast. I'm going to get fat. I looked around for a toilet.

"Phil I just need to pee real quick , Feel free to look around and I'll text you after."

"Oh okay , I think I spotted a video games store so I'll most likely be in there."

I headed to the toilets. I nealed over a toilet and waited for someone to use the hand dryer.

There goes my lunch. I searched my pocket for a packet of mints I keep on me at all times. I exited the toilets to see an impatient looking Phil standing outside the door.

"What took you so long?"

"Urm,"I paused searching for an excuse,"Let's just say I did more than just piss."

"Oh okay," He giggled.

I felt so dizzy. I started to see black dots. I dropped too my knees.

*Crack*

A strike of pain went through my right knee.

That's when I blacked out...


End file.
